I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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