no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Tornado booty call.. dedication
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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