this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
