My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
