I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Randomize
