Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
