He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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