you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
