Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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