I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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