Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
