I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
