I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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