He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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