On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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