Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
