Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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