You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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