Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just had sex on a roof
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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