On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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