i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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