Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
