don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
