By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
