she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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