i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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