The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
