I just threw up on my dentist
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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