it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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