just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
