well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
