Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
