Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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