I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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