I wannas sexs uuuuu
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
