Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
