i think i have two assholes
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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