He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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