We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
