I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
