just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
pop tarts are not kleenex
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
