i barfeds in our rink
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
