Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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