Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
