That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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