i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize