I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Randomize
