i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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