But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize