Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
