what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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