In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
