you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
