so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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