Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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