I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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