what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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