You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
