That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
