Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
