By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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