He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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