Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
