You can't special order awesome
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
