I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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