nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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