Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
they call him Oral-B. enough said
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
