I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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