If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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