omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I need to calm my uterus...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize