Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
