I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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