Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
