The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize