It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
