i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i dont even know how to be here
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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