You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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