3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Sorry about my life...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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