I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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