His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
