Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I AM VODKA MAN
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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