You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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