Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
