I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
