Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
