Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize