They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize