I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
